I read it once, and then read it a second time and I felt like I got a beat going in my head of the olden times in a pub sloshing beer all over by clinking mugs with each other, chanting a song of the ages! I don’t know if that made sense or not lol. But I loved the rhythm of this piece!
Your did great! 5/5
Drink! by Mark points: 4
Mark has put his all into this piece about (in my opinion) a public house atmosphere and it's very well rhymed and I think somewhat fun. I love the pace of the lines. I appreciate the repetition because most drunks do repeat things, it's not something you see everyday but it hit the spot.
"Toxins return violently to the floor" GENIUS!
For reasons I can't explain though (maybe I'm not 'poet-ey' enough yet) the image this conjured in my head was of an olde worlde pub of yore, with large tankards of ale being served by wenches! Lol.
Great write :-)