Solitude is a magical place
in the heart of silence...
introspection grows, expands
as I search for meaning
in the many things
that haunt me.
I delve into the realms
half fire, half ice
along the riverbed
of changing tides.
as though tepid rain.
I abandon sepulchral grounds
the worrywart in me no longer lingers
Morpheus has cast his magical spell
sleep comes easily now
I enjoyed the form of this, as it dictates the speed, especially throughout the middle. It's a very clever poem. I particularly loved the wording:
'I abandon sepulchral grounds
the worrywart in me no longer lingers'
here. I love worrywart! I'm not a huge fan of overly worded poems but yours always strike a fine balance between the concrete and the abstract. I do feel you could do more with the punctuation to stem the flow of the poem a bit.
'I abandon sepulchral grounds.
The worrywart in me no longer lingers.'
Or even mirror the ellipsis used in the first few lines?
Another comment is:
as though tepid rain.'
This is a little awkward. I don't entirely feel you need these two lines? But I understand why you've included them. It's more that the rest of the poem flows so well, these two lines took me by surprise and it took me a while to imagine the image you tried to create. It's just a personal take of mine. Wonderful writing as ever though Gracy. :)
Thanks you so much Daniel. I always value your feedback. I do appreciate you breaking down the poem and commenting. I do need pointers sometimes as I go with the flow and overlook punctuation. I got rid of the extra ellipsis. I will endeavour not to overly word my lines-- it's going to be difficult but I will try :-)