dissembled (Collab with Star)

by hiraeth   Apr 29, 2021


you collaborated with silence,
fleeced by darkness, so
your shadow became frail.

where there was once eyes
filled with vigor, there is now
a pair of dull muddy pools
staring back.

and i found myself lost
again between the flickers
of your candle, praying
you won't disappear.

but sometimes prayers aren't
enough. you vanish into the
wind and i am left wondering
where you belong.

is there a place for me
to float too?

or will i lose myself
to the indefinite
you?

---

Collab with Star: https://www.poems-and-quotes.com/poets/507201

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Latest Comments

  • 1 month ago

    by Hellon

    Interesting write from you both. I'm not usually a lover of collabs but this where there was quite unique.

    Only one little thing I noticed...

    where there was once eyes
    filled with vigor, there is now
    a pair of dull muddy eyes
    staring back.

    The repeat of the word eyes in line 3 through me off slightly so I'd maybe look at replacing it. Also the word won't should have an apostrophe.

    Really enjoyed it.

    • 1 month ago

      by hiraeth

      Thank you for pointing that!

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