Finding home

I count all the holes in my heart
since we said goodbye and
I stop myself at number 4,
the number of our children -
for that's my biggest regret;
losing them though believe me
I'll never stop fighting until
they're cucooned in my arms.

I'll cry tears for all the lost years
and with happiness as they'll be
back where truly belonged -

right now I will thank strangers
for taking care of my children,
nurturing them when I couldn't -
until I prove I did no wrong,
I was just a naive, broken woman
wishing, hoping to be loved but
it never came; I doubt it ever will

but the only love I thrive to have now
is from my children, first I need a home.

©Em