The grass ain't always green.

I guess I kinda wandered aimlessly through life
I've held jobs some would class as good.
They never seemed quite right for me,
But my own mind unto me was somewhat misunderstood.

I did not know what I wanted!
And I was pressed into directions,
By fluke or drunkenness I ended up in the army,
Where I soon forgot affection,

I'll not deny that part of my life,
For it makes me feel quite proud,
But did I do it to find myself,
Or to hide within the crowd?

I'm not a tough guy, no warrior,
And my ancestor's I can't berate.
The tours that I undertook,
We're for love and not of those of hate.

I see things more clearly now,
Now that I make my own choices.
No words in my ear, no bigotry,
And there are not so many voices.

I've been known as Mal for so long now
It's become my favoured name
But I existed before this time
And I was known as Craig!

Soon I will be 50 years old,
My life has felt like heaven and sontimes hell.
But as I've grown and thoughts have flown.
I think I shattered my own bell.

No chime does ring,
And no sound to follow
And within myself,
There was something hollow.

Yet I guess I'm not alone,

So so many people have felt like this
Where you try find your me!
To know exactly who you are,
And perhaps feel a little free.

I tried to dodge this life and future
Although in it I admit I am immersed.
But I tried to find another chapter,
Perhaps sing another song and verse.

It lasted for a short time
Then all things must be what they must be
So I wind it back and I paint it black

I just drive HGV's

I love my forces family
The dumb shit that we've done
The times we screwed it up a bit
And the little bits unsung.

If you think this little rhyme is pathetic,
Perhaps the writings of a fool?
I can say to you that many.

Have felt the same way too.