The Better Friend

I’ve always struggled with emotional connection.

So I compensate for

my lack of

empathetic expression

with action.

I know the 5 love languages.
Acts of service,
quality time,
physical touch,
words of affirmation,
gifts.

I may not be great at expressing love,
but I can show you better than I can say it.

I could also to express myself in the written way,
as I can show you better than I can say it.

I’ve never had a reciprocal friend who does how I do.

I wish I could be fulfilled by my own friendship.

People

just

take.

You get a couch, you get a car.
Groceries, jewelry, my hours of time.
But after all the times I’ve come to your aid,
you didn’t think to come to mine.

They take my energy when theirs is low.
They use me to fill their cup.
They disregard the words I say.
To another, I’m not enough.

They call me friend, they call me sis,
something missing in their eyes.
When I ask and don’t get reciprocity,
for some reason I’m not surprised.

Women use me to make them feel strong,
to help raise their vibration.
I don’t know why I continue trying,
like this is some new revelation.

Is this a reflection of my self worth?
I fix people who will discard me?
Everyone who I’ve shown I cared for
will not step up to guard me.

Here I am, my time of need,
and no one I helped around.
Why should I ever make new friends
when people only let me down?

I’ve been strong for everyone,
I’ve withstood it all, I bend.
Yet, in my disappointment I wonder how
I could be a better friend.