The dream in which i'm dying

by Independence Forever   May 18, 2007


A man's outlook on death

a gun shot, the silence breaks
pictures of friends, birthday cakes

a drop to the ground, a hard smack
mamma's breakfast, a pancake stack

the loss of blood, growing too faint
working at the shop, the smell of paint

eyes dimming, can barely see
small children, hugging on me

cruel laughter, a madman departs
a young protege, wisdom imparts

darkness, death, the waiting, all bad
a horrible dream, but the best i ever had

    report violation
1


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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by YourThe ReasonIDiedTonight

    Flows beautifully together...you have amazing talent. keep it up

    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by monica

    One word: dayummm lol yes u might just be thinking that im only commenting u b/c u commented me and to tell u the truth im in school right now and shouldnt even be on this site but lol i can not stop reading your poems i alwasy like how u end them

  • 17 years ago

    by XxToWriteLoveOnHerWristxX

    Wow amazing.nice flow i like the way that the top line symbolizes the mans feelings and the bottom line sybolizes the mans thoughts..truly amazing.

  • 18 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    5/5 poem !!!!! Great job!!!

  • 18 years ago

    by Nykkiicia Cion

    Darkness becomes u...

Read All Comments (43)

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