Midnight hour

In the middle of the night,
i lie awake.
In the middle of the night,
i cry tears of blood.
As they fall to my silky wasteland below,
salting its path beyond
i lie there and wish my life would end.

The pain inside,
the tears i've cried, i wonder if its worth it.
The knife in my hand shakes,
knowing my lifes at stake,
wishing i could end it all.
the hell bound memories of the rape inside,
the burning of my soul that i know is fallen.

Vision becomes blurry as the thoughts flood back,
that painful night, that terrible fright.
I look at my reflection in the window,
all blurry and lifeless, just a shell.
knowing that the life ive lived is hell.

so once again in the middle of the night,
as blood tears fall to the silky wasteland below
i slice and slice,
finding that solitude within,
knowing that my life is not worth living