Reality Check

by Kirsty palmer   Jul 17, 2007


I told you that I wouldn't hurt you
I promised you that I would always care
I wished that you would listen
Once again nothing sunk in but air
You always ignore me;
Look straight through me as if I'm not there
Then turn back to shoot a smile
But it isn't one that we both share
Through me- you smile at her
My knees buckle, this I cannot bare

Numerous occasions I feel lonely
Even though I'm surrounded
You have left me feeling so cold
I thought our love was grounded
But I was wrong; and our love tore apart
Confused and crying; yes I was astounded
After all that we promised
Were yours really unfounded?
I'm not going to break the ones that I made
My love for you, in me; is compounded

Take her hand and look into her eyes
But never forget that I will love you
Always and forever like I promised
I'm just not ready to say my adieu
Times like this I wished you would realised
That we should never be through
We suited so perfectly- like everyone said
Our relationship- we should pursue
I know you won't ever listen to me again
Your love for me was overdue

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Intoxic8dBeautyxXHaNaXx

    The emotion was to me, clouded. I really didn't like it but at the same I thought it had room for improvement. But this isn't really worst to what you think. I find it to be good enough. Really.

    realised

    And I believe that this word needs to be changed.

    A good attempt anyway.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    This poem isn't excellent. Atmosphere is good but it could be even more better. Your other poems are better... It deserves 4/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    The flow was good throughout this poem as is it mainly throughout most of your other poems. The structure again different and i'm sure so many people can relate to this. Although the emotion didn't seem to be in this piece, I really couldn't feel anything from it and nothing caught my eye. Overall a 4/5. ~mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    I thoguht it was ok
    i mean it had a nice flow
    but the ending could have been way better

    "Take her hand and look into her eyes
    But never forget that I will love you
    Always and forever like I promised
    I'm just not ready to say my adieu"

    favorite part ^^

    4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    It was a great poem, It flowed well. I really like the first 4 lines in the poem, good job.

    I really love this line.
    But I was wrong; and our love tore apart
    ^^It made the poem extra exciting =)

    Just a suggestion to use more punctuations =)

    Nonetheless, A great poem.
    Keep up the good work!

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