The Wait

I loved this poem, it was so sad, and i prefer is to the last poem in which i commented even though, alot more work went into the last poem.

Years have been unkind to her
Leaving a shell in her place
Love snatched away too soon
Haunting sadness on her face
- i loved the way in which you keep the running with the shore and added in the shell as in it could be a beach shell.

In their hearts they know
Peace will come when she is dead
- what makes this increasingly sad is that her family know that no matter what they do it will be better when she is dead for she will not feel the pain in which she feels now.
i love that fact that you never say how he died it adds to the mystery of the poem and gives the reader something to think about by themselves.

She tells them all is Okay
They know that she pretends
She is trying to protect them
As she waits for life to end
- i also like the way in which you have her trying her hardest to protect her family even thou they all know that something is wrong with her this adds again to the saddness.

the only thing i didn't like about this poem is the lack of puncutaion at the end of the lines in each stanza, there is none at all.
also i don't think the title works even though i am aware of the bluntess and the reason for a short and to the point. but putting something more metaphortically or eye-catching would help to promote this wonderful piece of writing.

Great entrance~

Her heart no longer mourns
For the life she had before
She was just an observer
Watching from a distant shore

~It's climatic. Nice poem.

You have a gift!

God, what a moving piece and so sad.
I love this i think it is a brilliant write and just makes my heart ache for this persons loss. Very touching and deep write. Loved it.

Kelly
xx

The flow is perfect, the words perfectly delineat the sad mood of the poem and its simplicity is impressive. Enjoyed reading this poem.