Destiny Stretches Her Distance

by Meena Krish   Nov 26, 2011


Among the stars on the sapphire sky we live together
yet far away from your sweltering touch I am Jupiter.

Standing behind those clouds can you see your Venus
like a scorching desert I burn for love, I burn for us.

Grand you look with captivating colors and gossamer ring,
how I yearn to be the one queen for you oh mighty king.

Holding me in your arms I want to ride on your windstorm
as we revolve in passion around planets both cold and warm.

Alas destiny stretches her distance leaving me in a desolate spot
and positions you on a potent throne of the Great Red spot.

Will your gaze ever fall on Venus, fill the hollow space in me
so you and I can swirl in a mist of romance for all to see.

4


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Gabriel

    This is a very creative romance/fantasy poem, very imaginative with lots of imagery.

  • 5 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    This poem has a unearthly appeal, to the romantically inclined. To compare one's love to the planets, the sun and the moon is always so very exquisite in the language of love. The poet has used, Jupiter and Venus here, and perhaps also the Sun. I have to sigh, jealously hold my heart and utter my ooohs, and aaahs, when someone describes the vivid imagery of love set in the ethereal world. I wish, I only wish, (and bet you all do too!)....that I can have something like this in my dry life! The interpretation was somewhat difficult when the poet switches from being Jupiter in the first stanza to being Venus in the last, but then one has to keep with the flow that love can assume any form, to please the lover. The metaphorical depiction of love using the celestial bodies is what makes this poem stand out. There is not one stanza which is better than another. Each one is passionate, some more than others. But the two best for me were:
    Grand you look with captivating colors and gossamer ring,
    how I yearn to be the one queen for you oh mighty king.
    Holding me in your arms I want to ride on your windstorm
    as we revolve in passion around planets both cold and warm.

    So in my opinion, Meena has written a definite masterpiece here, for those who can take their love for each other to an empyrean level, something out of this world.

    (Judging comment 12-4-11)

  • 5 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Exquisite Write Meena, Enjoyed!!!

  • 5 years ago

    by ronel mccarthy

    Beautiful

  • 6 years ago

    by NightFlyer

    Really like this one with you as the feminine Venus and one you desire as the masculine Jupiter, very clever! The planets were named in antiquity for major Roman gods, and they were described as having many human emotions. So your poem also has a very mythological aura about it. Jupiter was the ruler of the gods while Venus was the goddess of love.