I have spent a whole night and day
to write one verse of perfect rhyme,
partial grumpy words stare my way
as the calm clock snickers and chimes,
fatigued pen falters with each line
yet my persistence makes him work,
the force to create turns to crime
on snow white ground his life blood lurks.
A Huitain has 8 lines. Each line has 8
Lines 1 and 3 should rhyme
Lines 2,4,5 and 7 should rhyme
Lines 6 and 8 should rhyme
I love this! You truly mastered this form! Great choice of words and the drawing of emotion. What really swayed me to this poem was the title, so creative! Words are a powerful tool and you expressed that wonderfully! Nicely done!
This form is a fun one to write, but a difficult one in my opinion, to get the rhyming pattern to flow and read with a wonderful rhythm is hard to do, and the author nailed this form! The message was awesome...
I see the author trying to write this form and needing to concentrate and it made me feel like someone was trying to distract her.
It's as if she was crumpling paper up and tossing them at this person...
allot of sarcasm at the end and a touch of humor is what I felt within this poem...
Very creative and artistic!!! Awesome poem!! Well done Meena
Those rhymes... Such a wonderful write! I could see how you find pleasure in trying new forms and perfecting them. When to others (including me) they are such a torture. I never will be able to try this much of forms, Meena, never in my life ...so hats off! :)
5 years ago
When I read this poem I got the impression that you were committing the crime of killing your pen, while his "blood" (ink) was the one imprinted on the white piece of paper. An interesting read. Now I bet your finger prints rest in the body of that pen, the proof that a verse of crime was committed by putting to much frustration onto that pen. Well done. Though, I feel the pen still lives.