Tonight and every night... (Fibonnaci & Acrostic)

by Meena Krish   Mar 3, 2015


Iced

Naps
Entombs,
Embraced pain
Dangles from my eyes;

Yearning for moments that was missed-
Over the years which you and I had consumed, now an
Unavoidable storm chokes my life aching for your love to return, to

soothe my burns...

The number of syllables in each line must equal the
sum of the syllables in the two previous lines. So,
start with 0 and 1, add them together to get your
next number, which is also 1, 2 comes next, then add
2 and 1 to get 3, and so on.

Fibonnaci: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21...

3


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    Fabulous formed poem by Meena this week! I absolutely LOVE THIS!!

    Fibonnaci & Acrostic -
    Very touching and heart gripping

    A different mixture of forms and it works beautifully together.. This poem stands out above the rest in so many ways, I had to highlight it!!

    Missing a loved one- to ease the pain of loss-- its a powerful emotion and then to display it within a creative mixture of forms is even better.

    Usually the message down the side becomes the title... but since it is a mixture of forms and think it was a great move on Meena's part to make the title a statement, leading into the message down the side of the poem.. very creative and eye catching!!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I admire Meena for combining these two forms together this week, and old form which is known to most of us, with a new form which is less common and perhaps unknown to many. Not only are the forms combined, which is talented, but the words in the poem are quite touching. There was a good contrast used also, with ice and burns, which really portrayed the message of longing for someone lost and how their absence has an affect on this person. Great write.

  • 2 years ago

    by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

    Nice form, Ms. Meena and congrats on the win. There are just times that we will wish someone is with us at that moment, that we need that someone to be there, but all we can do is yearn and hope and embrace the pain of knowing that that someone can't be there.

    --- MKKK

  • 2 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Love the unstated acrostic - leaving the readers to discover it for themselves. The sentiment is tangibly painful as ice burning.

    The idea that you are beset worst when you awaken - yes. That moment when what was is still here until the present crashes down!

    Excellent form, too. Love it when forms win the weekly.

  • 2 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Iced

    Naps
    Entombs,
    Embraced pain
    Dangles from my eyes;

    ^ What a powerful start to this poem Meena, There seems to be two conflicting emotions here that come together as one. I do like how you used the word "iced". Death is indeed a cold feeling when you are left to hold the burden that it carries with you. The cold entombs the one you love and you yourself. Pain is part of the grieving process of course, but I think you are saying that pain can convert into tears and that is something that also comes with the process, it is a full cycle.

    Yearning for moments that was missed-
    Over the years which you and I had consumed, now an
    Unavoidable storm chokes my life aching for your love to return, to

    soothe my burns...

    ^ what a great ending to describe more about how you feel, I love how you consistently stayed with the same emotion through out because to me that makes the poem a lot easier to read. Also I love the acrostic inside the poem as well, It holds and is part of the poem up. As The reader you can tell that this person was very close to you and now you just want them back to make all the pain go away from your life. I am so sorry for the loss of this person in your life. There were no technical errors to the poem, but great job on the form, such a strong message in such a short form. 5/5