Never begin a hunger strike on an empty stomach.

"Procrastinators meet.... tomorrow."

~I heard this from a friend of mine and I though it was funny...~

Wise One say: "Environment is like Internet, and all the Pollution is Porn"

"Why do they call it chicken pox anyways?"

If Barbie is so popular, how come you have to BUY her friends??

Dont worry too much about the doors that slam in your face,
Just watch out that you dont get your toes caught in them.

Practice makes perfect..nobodys perfect y practice?

"when im feeling like i have it the worst, i just remember what my uncle george told me, hey at least your not a symese twin connected at the butt and the other ones gay."

"you never really realize how big the world is until you get pushed out of a plane."- jon clodfelter

"If you want to be heard, just jump off a building, or just yell real loud."jon clodfelter