If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door!

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

All the good things in life are either
ILLEGAL. IMMORAL. or FATTENING.

Big Mac--5 dollars

Deep fried cheesecake--3 dollars

Large poutine with extra gravy--10 dollars

Dying of a freak breakout of the bubonic plague--priceless

For everything else, there's lyposuction

Dancing makes for a good time. Dancing like you're in an iPod commercial makes for a better time.-Kelsey

-I want a new deck
-yea well ppl in hell want cold water too

another thing my dad says to me!

Kid- Oh My God!!!
Parent- God has nothing to do with this!!

I thought that was funny....my dad always says that to me

Same sh!t differnt day!!

Can imaginary friends have imaginary friends? It isn't possible, is it? Imaginary friends can't have imaginary friends: they don't have imaginations. It's your imagination imagining an imaginary friend who has an imaginary friend.

You know it's sad when you tell yourself off for interrupting a conversation with yourself.