"If you cant dazzle them with brilliance...Baffle them with bullshit"

"Been there, done that, cant remember."

When Life gives you apples, make apple juice.
When Life gives you oranges, make orange juice.
When life gives you lemons, give them to someone else and say: I'm sick of fruit!

If guys act corney its only because there so damn horney.....so dont fall for it!

When you start to feel like you arn't good at anything....remember: YOU WERE ONCE THE FASTEST SPERM IN THE BUNCH (lolz)

Want a real man go find a fan!!!!!

Be crazy, be witty, be cool, be anything you want to be.

But most importantly, be YOURSELF.

This isnt mine but i find it v funni!

"if i cud rearrange the alphebet i wud put U and I together!"

The only thing anyone can trust is that everyone will look out for themselves first

When looking for a sandwhich at two in the morning, do not look under the sofa, for what is there is not edible, well, it's not tasty