-Things to do today-

1. Wake up ~~ check
2. Check the clock ~~ check
3. Facepalm that you're late ~~ check
3. Create this stupid checklist to make you laugh later ~~ check
4. Miss work and go back to sleep ~~~~

Sometimes. Correction, all the time. I mess up. It's usually stupid things that don't matter to anyone else but me. Until I get them in the mess too..

Moooooo..I'm a Chicken.lmaoo

Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.

"Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" he asked me. "The big show is inside my head," I said.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality i accept

I wanna be bigger than Jesus and bigger than wrestling. Bigger than the Beatles and bigger than breast implants. I'm gonna be the biggest thing to hit these little kids. Bigger than guns, better than cigarettes.

To have the patience of an Angel, can be tedious as hell.

"OMG it's a flood!"
- It's okay I have a Shamwow :)

"What the fuk is wtf?!"
- Uhh...