After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F

Ron: Are you high?
Leslie: I'm high on Kaboom. "Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness."

Ron: That's right, you never did ask me for permission, did you? Well, I'm sorry to burst your ka-bubble, but I just had my ass ka-handed to me by the city manager, and now this entire department is ka-screwed.
What the ka-f*u*k were you thinking

"Remember: Take a man Kabooming? He kabooms for a day.
But you teach a man how to kaboom? Kaboom, kaboom, kaBOOM!" - Paul Scheer's character

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

My friend amy:
actually im in a good mood today. it doesnt come around very often so enjoy it while you can..but tomorrow is a diffrent day, so ill deal with ur mess then

The real trouble with my sarcasm is that half the time, when people think I'm being sarcastic, I'm actually being quite sincere

You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fcuked up

If life hands you melons... you might be dyslexic