Some people are like Slinkies. They're pretty useless, but its still fun to watch them tumble down the stairs.

"If you haven't made at least three people smile today, then you are taking your life way to seriously."

The devil on my shoulder is my advisor. The angle is just there for show.

Who put a fruitloop in your cheerios?

-Abbey

When life gives you lemons, bust out the tequila and salt

Love lies in your heart, so its hard to love if you dont have one

If you had a life,
You'd stop talking about mine.

Snow days - proof that God loves everyone, even those who haven't finished thier sociology coursework.

I have two emotions; rage and supressed rage.

Did you notice you either say "thanks" or "thanks a million" it can only be one of the two you can't just be like "thanks 236"