I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

I always make fun of my friends. My favorite thing to do is tease their "manhood". It's alright though.. I tell them, as long as they have sex in snowbanks... I think they'll be fine..

Rember "DEATH DO US PART"?

Later on you realize,,,,

Your actully setting a goal for yourself!

Life effing sucks
Get a straw.!.!.

CHOCOLATE MUFFINS
i love em and i haven't found one person who dosen't love em yet

(if you don't tell me cuz you got issues)

I'm Sorry, My Concience Called In Sick Again

I haven't lost my mind!
It's just sitting at home, next to my common sense.

I saw this girl... And she obviously didn't shave her pits. I mean, man, it was like a jungle. Imagine when she sweats? She could just ring it out. "What Timmy? You're thristy? Come here. Save some for the cat."

Have you ever wished you could be someone else, if only for a day? I think I'd be Periz Hilton. I would climb to the top of a building and jump off.

Girls who take steroids can't have kids. It messes them up, and makes it impossible. Plus, they're not the best looking things in the world.