Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run....he hates that

If the ocean was liquer and i was a duck id swim to the bottom and drink my way up, but the oceans not liquer and im not a duck so pass me a shot and lets get f**ked up

Having a bad day?
Why dont you go adopt some multi cultural children, it always makes me happy!

When your friends say nothing, random people you don't know are always willing to offer unsolicited advice.

"Remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off."

~anonymous

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

~anonymous

Remember that somedays you're the pidgeon and somedays you're the statue.

Now look, I may not always be rght in life, but so help me I am never wrong!

.suicide is cheating the doctors out of a job.

Don't tell me the sky is the limit...
when there are footprints on the moon ♥