I hear you have to do everything around your house. Kick the
dog, thrash the kids, beat the wife.

I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness" but it doesn't work.

:) My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S

Life SUCKS....
and it leaves some mean HICKIES!

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door!

You never die a virgin because life screws you in the end!

Kids when life throws a lemon at you don't make lemonade, you don't know where the hell that lemon's been.

'Learn to laugh at your troubles,and you'll never run out of things to laugh at'

Compliments don't count if they're wasted.

Your my best friend.

when you cry, I cry.
When your hurt, I'm hurt
When you fight, I'll fight
When you fall off a bridge and into the water, I'll get a paddle boat and save your retarted ass