Of course I'm arrogant, it's the unavoidable side affect of being right.
- Bob Shank

A good friend will bail you out of jail. But, your best friend will be sitting right next to in jail saying, "Dang, that was awesome!"

Life is like nascar racing, you just gotta keep goin around the track till things feel right then, haul your butt to the finish line to win!

Take a risk how bad could it be.

It's all fun and games till someone get's hurt then It's frickin Hilarious.

Drink Triple
See Double
Act Single

The tooth fairy teaches children
that they can sell their body parts for money.
I blame her for prostitution.

I think that the other person is always bluffing.

-Mr. Poker

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Specialness is heretic