Don't live to die

because then who would be alive to live?

The trouble with life is that there's no background music.

I love deadlines. I especailly love the whooshing sound they make as they go by.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Its not poison,
Its pirate juice.

If life was for the living, then why after our relatives die, we spend the next five years paying for their funerals?

Im putting you under citizens arrest because your an advanced kind of ugly

(Found in England)
On tombstone: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.

Grafitti on tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went.

You can't buy happiness,
but you can buy ice cream.

Microsoft:
You've got questions?
We've got dancing paperclips