Not all flowers can mean love, but a rose did.
Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did.
Not every retard can read, but look at you go! =]

"Why don't you go put a condom on ur head coz if ur gonna act like a d*ck, you might as well look like one to."

Life isnt always beer and skittles- sometimes you get tequilia and smarties with it too!!!

My exercise regime: up down, up down. And now the other eyelid.

MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown MENstrul cramps, MENopause did u eva notice how all our problems start wid MEN???

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell their body parts for money.
I blame her for prostitution.

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and sit back and watch the world wonder how the hell you did it.

Dont get high on life
cereal hurts when it gets stuck
up your nose!!

You know it's sad when you tell yourself off for interrupting a conversation with yourself.

Your just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us