In life, only one person gets to shine, so move outta my way, you're blocking my light

No one dies a virgin...life screws us all

The tooth fairy teaches children
that they can sell their body parts for money.
I blame her for prostitution.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

No one dies a virgin
because life screws us all

It isn't homework unless its due tomorrow!

Dont get high on life
cereal hurts when it gets stuck
up your nose!!

Men Were Born In Between The Legs Of A Woman, Yet, Men Spend All Their Life Trying To Get Back In Between Them.
Why? Cuz There's No Place Like Home....LoL

Life isnt always beer and skittles- sometimes you get tequilia and smarties with it too!!!

"Buying a gun is like sex. theres an exceptionally long waiting period, and most times you just end up shooting yourself..."

-James P. Connelly