A good friend will get you out of trouble...
A best friend will get you into it.

I am a ninja...
- No, you're not,
Did you see me do that?
- Do what?
Exactly...

hehe :P

"OMG it's a flood!"
- It's okay I have a Shamwow :)

Great minds think alike, but dirty minds think together. -WINK!!-

After years of intense therapy, my therapist finally said," Maybe life just isn't for eveyone."

To players, we're hot.
to perverts, we're sexy.
to adults, we're cute.
to relatives, we're adorable.
to others, we're pretty.
to the right guys, we're beautiful.
but to ourselves,
we are ugly as sh*t

The police are looking for a suspect described as sexy, funny, and great in bed.

Your ugly ass is safe, but where should i hide???

Dont be worried about what you put on, we were all born naked

Whenever i take a drink and miss my mouth, i sit there with a wet chin and contemplate every failure i've had in life

"Choose Life.
...Death is so overated."