Cigarettes are like Wolves.
One won't kill you, but a few packs might.

Life is like an open book , it can be hard to turn the page

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

You know you're PMSing when you'd rather block everyone on your buddy list than just not sign on at all.

M'aimer pour qui je suis- Love me for who I am

I miss you like a Veteran misses the war
I remember you,
But i never want to go back

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

This is what my friend said to me; he said, "Guess what I like? Mashed potatoes." It's like,"Dude. you have to give me time to guess. If you're gonna quiz me, you have to insert a pause."

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!