Life is difficult,
Full of obstacles
And challenges
But when you fall down,
Stand up, rub off the dirt
And ask ,"Who the hell pushed me?!"

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.

Revenge Is A Horrible Thing...
When Planned Properly!

Im not as think as you drunk i am

Fake it til you make it, then shake it & bake it

I once got a thank you card that said "Thank You" on the front with a whole bunch of smiley faces. On the inside the person had written "I hate dolphins"

Always wear your ring in your middle finger. So when you show it to someone and say f_ck off. The ring will make it fancy :p

Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, hey, floating around in space forever seems pretty cool.

When life hands you the most rediculous situations, all you can do is sit back and laugh. =)