* "The dole is my shepherd, I shall not work."

* "I'll give yu a bottle o' Brandy if you can tell us you pay the 'lectric bill before you get the red letter."

ALL QUOTES BY BOBBY THOMPSON- THE LITTLE WASTER

Instant S|UT; Just add alcohol

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Get your eyes examined; if you don't need them, the optometrist will tell you.

Don't get angry get even

Don't worry Be happy!!!!!!!!

SAME CRAP ALL YEAR ROUND !

I'm more man then you'll ever be, and more women then you'll ever have.