I just do what I want.
It's not about what people are saying
It's about me.
Everyone else can F**K off.

If time is measured in seconds, then what came first?

This is an away message... you use it when your away

What's the opposite of opposite?

Please, god if you cant make me thin make my friends fat!

There once was a man from fondu who fell alseep in a canoe he dreamed of venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hang of goo....

Watching a sober person trying to act drunk to their friends is almost as funny as watching a drunk person try to act sober to their parents.

U remember that time wen i said shut-up and u were so shocked ur mouth was open but nothing was coming out so it made me happy ...... damn i miss that

Roses are red,violets are blue.
when god made brains, where the hell were you.

Beans. beans. are good for your heart
the more you eat, the more you fart
the more you fart, the better it feels
so have some beans for every meal!

-vanessa.