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Yes, I am weird. What's the matter, can't handle that? |
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Ancient Greek soldiers remind me I have to buy something later. |
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Why do I need to brush my teeth? Are they not white enough? |
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Why do I need braces? Are my teeth not straight enough? |
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I'm not nervous about people bitting me. I'm just nervous about bitting them. |
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I'm like an uh-oh oreo, white on the outside but black on the inside. |
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Most guys aren't as reliable as the cars they fix. |
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Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. |
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I didn't lose the keys. I lost the whole damn car! |
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That story was so beautiful it gave me gas :) |