Somebody said to me that you ain't fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.

You sure do have a lot of Well-wishers. They'd all like to throw you down one...

Well... you're the most depressing thing since the Crucifixion...

(I actually say this to people)

I am a virgin... I have not made love to a man, a woman, or a chicken.

(This actually occurred with my friend's uncle...)

Officer : Sir, can you please step out of the car.
Man : Officer, can you please step INTO this car?

Everyone says we're like the girls next door.
you all must have really weird neighbors

This was a convo. between me & my sisters bf. while i was talking 2 much.
him: shh. u hear that?
me: hear what?
him: exactly. shut up!

The only thing worse than being alone is being with you!

People seems to take life the hard way !! and end up at the dead end !! Well if you really wanna enjoy life,, you gotta break the Rules !

If your going to be two faced...sweety atleast make one of them pretty!