Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I only drink on days that start with a T; Tuesday, Thursday, today, tonight, and tomorrow.

I don't fall for pick up lines,
Only pick up trucks!!<3

The reason i cant love some one else..??? Hun just low battery heart 4 ever !!!!

I can finish the Rubik's cube...just put it in my casket when I die, and I'll get it in the afterlife.

Have you been to MYSPACE lately? it's like waste ground. It's just Tom by himself, crying.

Don't be a douche !

Gr8 news every1! The world is NT going 2 end in 2012. I just found a Can in the cupboard dat has a 2014 exp date :) lol

"Oh shit, the mummy's after us.. lets all walk a little faster"

BURP !