Accounts are the best lovers,
they can go all night long
and still keep there balance!!!

Person 1--"can i ask you a question?"
Person 2-- "didn't really give me a choice there, now did ya sunshine?"

1 morning I was in a bad mood my boyfriend pissed me off so bad:

Sam: Hey wh0re what's up?

Me: I'm not in the mood today Sam.

Sam: Aww, poor baby! Cry me a river.

Me: I'm about to fr*cking drown you in a river in a second.

Well, first God told me to burn down my school. Then Satan told me not to. You see, they're all his schools. Satan has control over the educational system.

Cowboys only beyond this point...
Correction, SEXY cowboys only, beyond this point.

"When life gives you lemons,make apple juice and watch everyone try to figure out how you did it "

A few sandwiches short of a picnic .

I'ma hump you likea tree.. :d

If I was [..n.e.m.0..] would you come [..f.i.n.d...m.e..]

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long.....