I feel dirtier than a hooker at midnight
lol Tara

Im cute
Your not
Seems so unfair

Why are your pants pointing at me?!?!?!?!

PMS::potential murder suspect

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.

The roses have wilted,
The violets are dead.
The sugar bowl is empty
And so is your head.

Leave me a message after the tone..
Because obviously, I can't get to the phone.

Kids- dad ur moms best friend

dad- i know cuz im the only one who hasent turned her over backwords and screwed her

kids- (laughing) yeah you did dad lol

"Virgins only"

"Is it written on my forehead?!"

"So you're saying that today is actually yesterday for you. But for us today is today because we can't remember that yesterday was today, right?"

"Rise and shine, everyone!"

"...I'll rise... but I refuse to shine"

I dont blame you for being you....but you can't blame me for hating it.