A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... But, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!!"

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is!

"Stop getting all up in my kool-aid!!"

Donde esta Senor Sexy?

Billy the Homocidal Smurf

Yo mama is a lama and she smells like cheese

Two Lovers plan to commit suicide.
Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes and returned back saying.. "love is blind"
Boy in mid-air opened his parachute saying "love never dies.."

Is it the eyes that light up your face,
if not the make-up but thats not the case.
You've a smile, and a mouth built for it,
To bad its always talking sh*t!
You walk around showing off your body,
But charging men money? Now thats just Shoddy!

"You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you."

How about never? Is never good for you?”