You'll know your special when you relize your pushing a door that says pull.

Everything's possible? Have you EVER tried slamming a revolvable door?

Do you ever wonder...
who was the first person to see a egg come out of a chickens butt and said...
I am going to eat that?

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year

I have a bad case of bulimia...
I just always forgot to throw up

not mine but I love it

Life may be bitter but u can always sweeten it up with some choclate mmm... choclate

Too often we lost sight of life's
simple pleasures.Remember when someone
annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face
to frown BUT... its only take 2 musclesto extend
you arm and Bi#@$-SLAP that motherf#?@$ upside the head

A women once said that a man is
like a deck playing card you need
A Heart To Love Him
A Diamond To Marry Him
A Club To Smash His F#?@$ing Head In
A Spade To Bury The Bastard

Sunday school
Teacher:Who is our Savior?
(girl pokes a boy with a pen)
Boy: OH! Jesus Christ!
Teacher:Good.What did Eve say after her 21st child?
(girl pokes again)
Boy:(to the girl)If u stick that in me one more time, i'll break it in half!

My hobbies are more like obsessions.