Im gonna hurl, my guts in the air.... Then, step back fast, cus its gonna be rainin philly cheese steak...

The world is my domaine... Infact... it's my own personal correctioinal facility... therfore you are under my control... what punishment can I deliver you tonight ?

I was asked by a friend about a small cut just below my eye, My answer to him was -- " You know that when I get mad I also get vicious and brutal. Well this morning I had a very big argument with Myself, And then Me jumped in and hit My eye"

*boy talking to a bi-polar girl.

*girl-omg!!! i miss you!!!!

boy- i miss you too!!!

*girl- NO YOU DONT!!!!!FUUUCK!

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any just to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

What the deal with those little candy bars? They say "fun size" on them. That's not fun size. No a candy bar the size of a truck. Now that's fun size!

GAH! =]

this is an A B conversation so C your way out of it before D and E F you up G wasnt that funny?

DON'T DRINK AND DIAL
(call a friend, not an ex)

--My awesome new shirt--

Do u have alot of junk in ur trunk?
Yeah I got alot of junk in my trunk
Sometimes I think my boyfriend wouldn't date me if I didn't
U got blankets, jumper cables and first aid box