Me and my clan of evil pancakes will defeat the faeries and take over the world!! MWAHAHAHA.....

This was a random thing I said to my friends at school one day, and one of them practically died laughing. :D

There are only three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't...

As I lye in bed and look up at the night skie.I begin to think, where the hecks my roof?

"What did you do to Compy?"
"It's in a better place now, well, actually it's in the same place but it has a huge hole in it."-Strong Bad and Bubs

*~I'd like to take this time to thank Gwen Stefani for teaching the whole world how to spell "bananas".~*

If you are flamable and have legs you can not block a fire exit.-Mitch Hedberg
where i got it:Someone came up and said sir you have to move your blocking the fire exit like if there was a fire i wasn't gonna run.

I WOULD SAY THAT YOU LOOKED LIKE A DOG BUT THAT WOULD BE AN INSULT TO THE DOG:)

What the waiter said to Jesus at the night of the last supper: we either got 2 round tables of 6 or 1 long table but you all have to face that way...

.i wanted to get my teeth whitenend.
.but i got a tan instead.

.i wanted to buy a candle holder.
.but i bought a cake instead.