Never let anyone bring you down..if they do punch them down so its even

Come on! I've got thing to see and people to do! ( one of my friends said that)

Basketball, Baseball, Soccer, Football and Tennis all take one ball, Racing takes two.

"Like a midget using a urinal, keep on your toes"

I hated going to weddings, all the grandmas would poke me saying 'your next.' but they don't do that anymore, since i started doing that to them at funerals

I ain't funny, i just make people laugh!! what an idiot i am!! lol

OMFg I dont freakin get this quote i have read it like 2 million tikes but i still dont get it ...really i dont lol

If at first you don't succeed sky diving is not for you.

I would love to be a candle......Cause people blow me all the time!
or
Im like a candle.......everyone blows me once in their life!

CANDLE SAFETY:
"When you go out, blow out!"

So the elephant says to the naked man, "Thats cute and all, but can you really breathe through that thing?" Get it? hahaha...