|
...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, "A truck!" |
|
A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it. |
|
Well, the next day I caught her in bed with this other guy. I was crushed. I said, "Get off me, you two!" |
|
I went to the hardware shop. I said, "This riding lawnmower is stupid." |
|
I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back. |
|
I had this parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry." So it died |
|
That'd be funny if you were a drummer, and you grabbed two magical wands instead of drumsticks. You're pounding out the beat "1-2-3-4 Oh s***, my Bass Player's now a can of soup... Sorry Rick, I mean Cream of Mushroom! |
|
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too litteral for me. |
|
I don't want to be a chicken |
|
Call me a bench warmer |