This rice tastes like coffee and smells likes carrots

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded- dead.
- Woody Allen

Hehe.. im smiling cause they havent found the body yet.

*mi amigo said this to me*

Pickles are cucumber soaked in evil...

Do not make me throw a possum at your face!!

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus

RAWR!! Thats "I love you" in dinosaur

Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?

If a were a chocolate peanut cluster i would so be a cannibal

I have to be me. Everyone else is taken.