Life's a beach until you get sand in your shorts

The police are looking for someone described as sexy, funny, and great in bed. Your ugly ass is safe, but where should i hide?

(sing to the melody of iron man)
i am ice cream man running over fat kids as fast as i can.....♥

my boyfriend made it up and i thought that was funi

Oh, say that again. Slower. And with your pants off.

I am aware I have no pants on, but thats no need to shout it out in public.

Dear diary, I wish you were a taco.

Help others when there life is full of rain, but still find time to dance in it.

"Get the disk out of the player/Which one?/The silver one......... :["
{Both of the players were silver lol}

A friend will ask to get into your fridge when they come over. A true friend will invite themselves

"....Or maybe its a glowing key that when u stick it into people it unlocks their death"

<Red Vs. Blue>

<Church and Caboose are tlaking about some glowing sword, and theyre tryig to determine what it really was