'Twas brillig and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimbel in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.

Remembers when corduroy pillows were invented. They sure made headlines.

Outside of a dog, a good book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

HER: "Wow he looks like he got beat with an ugly stick"
HIM: "No he got beat with the whole damn tree"

HER: "Your a w.hore"
HIM: " Yea, but im an expensive w.hore, i cost $15,000 American, you cant afford me Betch"

*another infamous line by Mr. Maison

Sorry, i just pucked in my mouth a little bit

Hey Buddy......i have a boyfriend and only he can grab my ass

Two whales were swimming and saw a boat

so they go and blow bubbles under the boat

After the whale said to eat the sailors

the girl whale said no, i did the blow job but i refuse to eat the sea men

*from a joke book*

I dont care if you lick windows, ride the slow bus,or pee pee on yourself. you just hang in there gurl because you're special

Screwdriver- "Looks like your not the sharpest tool in the shed"
Hammer- "It's alright; I nailed your wife."

Clever comments from inanimate objects.