I had a dream I was eating marshmellows!
When I woke up...my pillow was gone....

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

"You might be able to beat me in a fight, its very possible. The only question I have is, can you outrun a bullet?"

Have you ever met that guy.... you know That guy?.... neither have I.

I saw you today and couldnt help but laugh

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself!

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE
GOD MADE ME PRETTY..
BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU??

I'm not short!
I'm just unusally not tall.

Tell your pants it's not nice to point

"I'm so gay, my hair won't even stay straight."