Never fear! Disasterpiece is here!
Though I'm beginning to think that's the reason you have fear in the first place...

"I'm so gay, my hair won't even stay straight."

... In case of fire...
Yell "FIRE!"

Don't underestimate the knowledge of stupid people.

Friends will ALWAYS say:
'you deserve better anyway'
. . .
Best friends wil prank him saying:
'you'll die in seven days!'

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

xD lol had to.

The early bird gets the worm

but the second mouse gets the cheese

Scientists finally found out what's wrong with the teenage mind. on the left side, they see nothing right. on the right side, they see nothing left.

Do you carrot all for me? My heart beets for you, If we cantaloupe, Lettuce marry; Weed make a swell pear! Don't squash my hopes and dreams!

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year