Skinny people think they are fat

while the fat people know they are fat..

I was standing there in the park wondering why frisbee's got bigger when they got close....then it hit me

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

You caught my eye...Can I have it back please?

Look how bored i am.

See?

In spanish class, the teacher said say a command in spanish...so i shout out

Hazme despues de la clase

having no idea what it means.. everyone bursts out laughing, and my teacher says "you just said 'do me after class' "

lmfao

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?!

Chocolate, Strawberrys and vodka mmmm sounds like sex to me...

You wouldn't know buttshit if it bit you in the a**

well i would be scared if shit grew teeth and bit me

**Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.**

-an icon i have-