SANTA IS A WITCH!! BURN HIM AND HIS PINT SIZED FOLLOWERS!!

What do i do when i see some1 XTREMLY GORGEOUS
ATTRACTIVE
BEAUTIFUL and
INTELLIGENT...

I STOP,
I STARE
AND WHEN I GET BORED...

... I PUT THE MIRROR DOWN, LOL

Boys are like pumpkins,their heads are empty, their brains are mush, and after a few days, they start to smell funny.

Valentine's day:

like we really need another day of the year to feel like sh*t because we're single. thank you effin' hallmark.

REMEMBER=
books
before
boys
because
boys
bring
babies!

Skinny people think they are fat

while the fat people know they are fat..

We had gay robbers last night. They broke in an rearranged the furniture.

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because everytime i fall in love.....it never seems to last

I can't pop a cherry, but i can make banana cream