Me:if i was a cow would you eat me?
bff:no. i dont like bacon...
me: wow bacon comes from pigs..

actual conversation... isn't tht sad

Got a problem with me?
Solve it!
Think im trippen?
Tie my shoes!
Can't stand me?
Sit Down!
Cant face me?
Turn around!

Just tell nemo you couldnt find him because you were too busy getting high....he'll understand.

When life hands you lemons make apple juice and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it!

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Computer games don’t affect kids I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids
we’d all be running around in darkened rooms munching magic pills and listening to
repetitive electronic music

Screw you guys i'm going home

Slow down sugar
I'm a diabetic. <3
--Nick Jonas

not to offend anyone but i got this in an email

why were there only 100,000 mexicans at the march on monday?

they could only find one van

again not to offened anyone i have friends that are mexican and they thought this was freakin funny

How do I feel about gun control?
Break into my house one night && find out.