When life hands you lemons make apple juice and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it!

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Computer games don’t affect kids I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids
we’d all be running around in darkened rooms munching magic pills and listening to
repetitive electronic music

Screw you guys i'm going home

" No matter how much you pull on it, It will not get any longer "

I am not random i just have many tho... oo0o0o0o0 SQUIRREL!!

Boy: so whats up????
gurl: mm..nothin much,u??
boy: nothin'.
gurl: well thats kool.
boy: i lost my phone #.
gurl: that sucks.
boy: can i have yours??
gurl: sure, it's 1-800-get a life.
gurl walks off

not to offend anyone but i got this in an email

why were there only 100,000 mexicans at the march on monday?

they could only find one van

again not to offened anyone i have friends that are mexican and they thought this was freakin funny

Next time a person gives you the "when pigs fly" line
Just remind them of swine flu (flew)

I Couldn't Fix Your Breaks, So I Made Your Horn Louder.